Seven Conversations That Changed How We Think About Thriving in Healthcare
Hello Reader,
There's a quote that keeps running through my mind from our conversation with Kim Downey, a physical therapist and cancer survivor who started an entire movement after her doctor died by suicide:
"Just tell one person, don't keep it all inside."
As I sat down to plan our year-in-review episode, I thought I'd just pick my favorite podcast moments from 2025. But as I listened back through the conversations, I realized these weren't random interviews. They tell a story—one I think many of us are living right now.
It's a story that moves from crisis to calling. From recognizing what's broken to figuring out how we show up differently, even when systems change slower than we'd like. From isolation to connection. From waiting to acting.
So today, I want to share seven voices that said something we all needed to hear. Seven moments that shaped our understanding of what it means to not just survive in healthcare, but to find our way to something sustainable.
The Crisis: Put Your Oxygen Mask On First
We start with Dr. Stefanie Simmons from the Dr. Lorna Breen Heroes Foundation. If you know the story of Dr. Lorna Breen—the emergency physician who died by suicide during the pandemic, afraid that seeking help would end her career—you understand why this foundation's work matters so deeply.
What stuck with me from Stefanie's conversation wasn't just the tragedy of what happened. It was something she said about what we can control:
"We control a lot less than we like to think we do, but we have much more influence than we realize."
She talked about the difference between what we control (our reactions, our self-care), what we can influence (policies in our organizations, conversations about how things are done), and what we need to learn to accept and let go.
Here's what I know from coaching healthcare leaders: We can't pour from an empty cup. We can't show up for our patients, our teams, our families if we're running on fumes. And yet that's exactly what so many of us are doing.
The first step isn't swimming harder against the current. It's putting on your own oxygen mask first. That might look like five extra minutes in your car before you go inside. It might look like scheduling that therapy appointment you've been putting off. It might look like finally saying "no" to one more committee.
Rebuilding Trust: Check Your Emotions First
But here's the thing about oxygen masks—they help you breathe, but they don't teach you how to have the hard conversations. For that, we need different skills.
Dr. Varun Shetty, a critical care pediatrician, shared something that shifted how I think about difficult conversations with patients, especially around topics like vaccine hesitancy:
"I always like to look at myself first. Keep my emotions in check. Make sure that I am not in the wrong. Make sure that I am listening."
When trust has been broken between us and our patients (or our colleagues, or our systems), the path forward isn't certainty. It's curiosity. It's checking our own triggers before we walk into the room.
Varun reminded us that both we and our patients usually have the same goal—health, safety, prevention. We just need to start there and build from understanding, not from being right.
This is the inner work that makes the outer results possible. When we're triggered, we can't listen. When we're defensive, we can't connect. When we're certain we're right, we stop being curious.
Finding Your People: You're Not Crazy
You can do all the inner work in the world and still feel completely alone. Sometimes the problem isn't inside you—it's that you look around and think, "Who would even understand?"
Dr. Peter Kim, founder of a community of over 700 physicians interested in physician entrepreneurship, shared what it felt like to have ideas and dreams that people around him didn't get:
"If I talk about this at work, people are like, 'What are you talking about? You're crazy.'"
How many of us have felt this? You have an idea, a dream, a frustration, something you want to change. And you look around and think no one will understand. So you stay quiet, and slowly that spark starts to dim.
The problem isn't you. The problem is you haven't found your people yet. Or you're evolving into the next version of yourself and your current circle hasn't caught up.
Peter talked about how surrounding yourself with people who are striving, growing, setting goals beyond just getting through the next 30 years changes everything. Community isn't a nice-to-have. It's essential.
Standing Beside Others: A Coach for the Experience
Dr. Angie Ingraham was a trauma surgeon until her father was diagnosed with brain cancer. Suddenly, she wasn't the doctor—she was the family member navigating a system that, even with all her training, felt impossible to navigate.
Her question changed her career trajectory: "If this is this hard for me, what about everybody else?"
Angie left surgery and became a patient advocate, founding True North Patient Advocates. I love how she describes what she does: she's "a coach for the experience of healthcare." Someone in your corner, helping you see clearly when you're in the middle of overwhelm.
This is what coaching does. Whether it's for patients navigating healthcare or leaders navigating their careers, a coach isn't there to tell you what to do. A coach helps you slow down, see clearly, and trust yourself to make the next right decision.
You don't have to figure it out alone. Sometimes you need someone to stand beside you and say, "I'm not going to let you be by yourself."
The Power of Coaching: Healthcare is Late to the Party
Dr. Resa Lewiss, emergency physician and co-author of "Micro Skills," said something that I think we all need to hear:
"Healthcare has been slower on the uptake, late to the party of coaching."
In the business world, executives have had coaches for decades. Athletes have coaches. Performers have coaches. But in healthcare, we're still catching up. There's this lingering idea that needing a coach means something is wrong with you.
Here's the truth: Some of the highest performers in the world have coaches, not because something is wrong, but because they're committed to growth. Because they know having someone in their corner who can see what they can't accelerates everything.
Resa talked about speaker coaches, writing coaches, executive coaches—all the invisible support that helps people get better at skills that were never taught in medical school or residency.
You don't have to be broken to want a guide. You just have to be committed to growth.
Supporting the Next Generation: The Skill Nobody Teaches
In our episode on wellbeing for students and trainees, Klaus and I talked about a question we got from a listener: "How do you maintain wellbeing when you're the student, when you're the one with the least power in the room?"
We kept coming back to one skill that almost no one teaches: managing up.
Klaus modeled what this looks like: "Hey, I'd appreciate to have that 30 minutes of lunch and being able to go for a walk. Is that okay? This is what's going to keep me well and keep me refreshed for the day. How does that work for you and your team?"
It's not demanding. It's not going rogue. It's advocating for yourself professionally, within the hierarchy, in a way that invites collaboration.
Managing up means asking for what you need in a way that works. And whether you're a student, a resident, or an attending who feels like you have no say, this is a skill that can be learned.
We also talked about the power of reflection: "What did you learn today?" Every single one of us learns something each shift. But unless we pause and notice, that learning gets lost in the rush.
The Charge: Just Tell One Person
I want to end with Kim Downey's words because I think they're the most important message of this entire year.
Kim isn't a physician—she's a physical therapist and cancer survivor who founded Standing Up for Doctors after one of her physicians died by suicide. When I asked her what one thing a struggling healthcare professional could do right now, she said:
"Just tell one person, don't keep it all inside. Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. That is the most brave, courageous thing you can do."
You don't have to carry it alone. You were never supposed to.
Sometimes that one person is a friend, a colleague, a family member. Sometimes that one person is a coach—someone confidential, trained, completely in your corner. Sometimes what you need isn't one person, but a community of people who understand without you having to explain.
What's one small step you can take?
Maybe it's five minutes in your car to breathe before going inside. Maybe it's texting a friend you've been meaning to reach out to. Maybe it's finally scheduling that appointment. Maybe it's asking your supervisor, "How does this work for you?" instead of suffering in silence.
Small things are enough. When you advocate for yourself in small ways, you build the courage for the next thing.
From all of us at Transforming Healthcare Coaching, we see you. We support you. And we're here when you're ready.
Here's to a peaceful, restful, and renewing end to 2025.
— Lillian & Klaus (Podcast Director)
🎧 Listen to the podcast sneak peek episode below and listen to the full episode on YouTube, Apple, Spotify, Podbean, or Amazon Music.
What's inspiring us this week:
YOU.
Our readers. Our followers. Our listeners.
Our healthcare colleagues. Our teams. Our patients and their families.
Our families. Our friends.
Thank you for being here for the past year of growth, for your commitment to your career and thriving in healthcare, and for sharing our content.
The Practice: Celebrating Wins
We get more of what we focus on. The practice of gratitude and celebrating the goodness of life is the first step in changing our brains, mindsets, and circumstances for the better.
Thankful for health: both mental and physical.
Thankful for the light.
In spite of the darkness around the world, grateful for the simple candlelight flame:
Whether it's celebrating the light of Chanukah with the menorah,
Or candlelight Christmas Eve services,
Or faith in the light after the winter solstice,
May you find the light, be the light, and spread the light to all in your sphere of influence.
It is enough. You are enough.
Happy holidays to all!
Stay mindful and keep leading,
Lillian
Founder & CEO
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