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You're leading on autopilot (and don't even know it)
Published 7 days ago • 6 min read
From Autopilot to Awareness: How to Lead Your Team Without Burning Out
Hello Reader,
Picture this: You're about to walk into a meeting where you know someone's going to push back. Your jaw is tight, your shoulders are up by your ears, and you're already rehearsing your defense.
What if you could shift that energy in 10 seconds flat—before you even get into the room?
This week, I sat down with Vicki Landers, physical therapist, leadership coach and professional speaker, to talk about something most of us don't discuss enough: how the energy we bring as leaders shapes everything—our team's performance, patient safety, and our own wellbeing.
We explored a question that might make you uncomfortable: When was the last time someone on your team said "I don't know" in a meeting?
If you can't remember, that silence might be the biggest threat to both your team's performance and patient safety.
The Problem: We're All Running on Autopilot
Here's what autopilot looks like in healthcare: You're looking at your phone, answering a text, responding to a page—all while someone stands in your doorway waiting to talk with you. You're doing all the things without thinking about what you're doing or how it's affecting the people around you.
Vicki put it plainly: "It's not that we're horrible people. It's not that we have bad intentions. We're just not paying attention to what's happening."
Under stress, we default to one of two energy states:
Conflict mode: "I'm right. I'm right. I'm right. You're whatever." This damages the people around us, often without us realizing it.
Victim mode: "It doesn't really matter what I do, so I'm just gonna do things." This pulls our team into catabolic, destructive energy.
We've all been there. The firefighting mode feels constant—staffing emergencies, patient crises, administrative demands. Professional development and strategic planning get pushed to the back burner because we're always reacting.
The Insight: Awareness Creates Choice
Research shows that emotionally aware leaders catch early burnout signs in themselves and their teams. That awareness allows us to take care of each other proactively, before things spiral out of control.
Vicki shared something that shifted my perspective: "Multitasking is a myth. All multitasking is attention shifting, and when we attention shift, it wastes time. We're not getting the full benefit of any of the things we're trying to do or consume."
When we can pause—even for 10-15 seconds—to focus on the people in front of us, something changes. Our team reflects back the energy we give them. If we show compassion, care, and curiosity, we get that in return. If we don't, there isn't much hope for it within our team.
Here's the reframe that makes all the difference: Yes, we're going to have chaos. When we accept that reality, we can actually laugh about it. "Oh look! Chaos!" That simple acknowledgment puts us in a better space to manage ourselves and show up for others.
Your Actionable Practice: The Thinking-Feeling-Doing Exercise
Vicki introduced a simple practice that her coaching clients use to build self-awareness—and you don't need a coach or 360 review to start.
It's called the "Thinking-Feeling-Doing" exercise, and here's how it works:
Start in low-stress environments (like driving home, not in the middle of a crisis). Set a timer to go off throughout your day. When it rings, ask yourself three questions:
What am I thinking?
How is that making me feel?
What am I doing as a result?
That's it. Thirty seconds.
When you practice this neural pathway in low-stress moments, it becomes available in high-stress situations—like right before that contentious meeting. You'll notice: "Oh, heart rate went up. Oh, my breathing got tight." That two-second awareness makes a huge difference in how you interact with your team.
A note for the thinkers, feelers, and embodied folks among us: Most healthcare professionals are "thinkers first"—we ruminate and self-flagellate with thoughts. But some of us feel emotions first (if you can name them). Others notice physical sensations—the constriction in the throat, tightness in the chest, that weird feeling in the stomach.
Whatever your natural style, you can access all three channels. That makes you more connected to yourself and more empathetic to those around you.
Reading the Room (and Creating the Energy You Want)
We instinctively feel the energy in a space, even if we don't acknowledge it. Think about the difference between a contentious meeting where everyone's silent or blaming versus the last concert you attended—both are energy, just different kinds.
Here are small practices that make a difference:
For virtual meetings: Start with a check-in. Ask people: "If you were a weather forecast, what would today be?" Let people say "I'm a thunderstorm" or "I'm a rain cloud." Naming it helps release it.
For in-person huddles: Ask "What's one thing you're grateful for?" or "What do you need to let go of to be present here?" Vicki did this with her team for two years, and when she left, people told her it changed how they perceived meetings and their entire day.
During leadership rounds: Walk through your space. Be visible, be present. Data shows this improves engagement and increases perception that leaders are listening—which matters deeply.
The Real Story: When Awareness Leads to Change
Vicki shared a story about a leader who tried for years to shift the energy in her organization. She was doing everything she thought would work, but nothing changed. Through coaching, she became aware of how others' energy was draining her—and that she had more choices than she realized.
When Vicki asked, "What would be possible if things were different?" ideas flooded in. The leader investigated her options and ultimately changed organizations. Now she's thriving, creating a wonderful space for patients, herself, her coworkers, and upper management.
The lesson isn't that you need to leave. Sometimes awareness means you make different choices within your current team. You show up with more curiosity, empathy, and compassion. You recognize when someone else is in "victim mode" and choose not to buy into their energy.
Your Energy Is Your Team's Energy
Your coworkers aren't your enemy. They're your army to help patients.
I think about this often when facing difficult policy changes or organizational decisions we can't control. I could buy into the doomsday narrative—and sometimes I'm tempted. But I consciously choose to ask: "Where can we find opportunities in this? How can we leverage it?"
When we let go of some judgment about the problem, ideas start flowing. There's always going to be rain in most places. How we choose to see the rain matters.
What's Next
This is the first in our series on self-awareness for healthcare leaders. Over the next several episodes, we'll move from awareness into action—giving you practical tools to lead with more intention, less burnout, and stronger teams.
For now, try the Thinking-Feeling-Doing exercise this week. Set a timer. Practice in calm moments. Notice what happens.
And remember: You're not just making a difference for patients. You have the capacity to make a difference for everyone you work with.
We get more of what we focus on. The practice of gratitude and celebrating the goodness of life is the first step in changing our brains, mindsets, and circumstances for the better.
Stay mindful and keep leading, Lillian Founder & CEO
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By Transforming Healthcare Coaching® Lillian Liang Emlet, MD MS CHSE CPC ELI-MP, Founder & CEO
Live well. Lead well. Grow Together. Weekly conversations to help you stay human in healthcare. We share practical ideas, podcast pearls, and curated reads that help you grow. Together, we can transform healthcare, one person at a time.®
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