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Hello Reader,

Suppose I give you directions to my house. From my front door, go one block down and turn left. At the light, go right, past Target, then left again, and you're there.

You will never arrive. The directions start where I am, not where you are.

Salvatore Manzi uses that example to explain the principle his new book, Clear and Compelling, is built on. He calls it "you then me." Before your agenda, your data, or your talking points, you start with the listener's world: their situation, their perspective, what they need from the conversation. Once that connection exists, the bridge is open for your side of it.

The reason behind it comes from neuroscience and psychology: emotion precedes cognition. Salvatore describes the listener's amygdala firing before they have processed your words, deciding whether this is safe and whether it is worth hearing. If the connection isn't made first, the evidence has nowhere to land.

I was trained to lead with the study, the numbers, and the slides, so this one asks something of me. Salvatore points to the curse of knowledge: we know our material so well that we forget what it's like to hear it for the first time. We either skip the context the listener needs or bury them in so much of it that it becomes a wash. His fix keeps the evidence and changes what it is attached to.

The place I see this matter most is the everyday pitch up the chain: the proposal to your chair, the case to your supervisor, the idea you want to see move forward. Salvatore's advice is to open with the purpose you share and say it out loud. The mistake he sees most often is assuming the shared goal is a given and never stating it. Naming it tells the other person you understand where they are coming from, and it gives everything after it a foundation.

He adds one question to answer before you walk in: what do you want them to say, do, or decide? Without that answer, he compares you to an archer practicing with no target.

Here's my question for you this week: think of the next conversation where you need a yes. What is the other person's world as they walk in, and what would it sound like to start there?

You can find Salvatore's book and resources at https://www.salvatoremanzi.com/book. Clear and Compelling is out in October, and it's our first medTHRIVE® Book Rounds in January 2027! ​

🎧 Listen to the podcast sneak peek episode below and listen to the full episode on YouTube, Apple, Spotify, Podbean, or Amazon Music.

Stay mindful and keep leading,
Lillian
Founder & CEO

P.S.

I love sharing things that I truly love, so you'll see me do more of that here each week.

The best part of having a podcast and a Substack newsletter is that I get to be creative in new ways. As part of that journey, I've met other creatives like Rachna Ghiya who has a wonderful short little course that helps you think in a more visual way. It's approachable and fun! Check it out: https://www.thinkinvisuals.com/

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