​

Hello Reader,

​Natalie Holder's grandmother almost died in a waiting room.

She'd come in with sepsis. But the physician that day was overwhelmed, took one look — older, an immigrant, not obviously "important" — and decided, without really deciding, that she could wait. She nearly didn't survive it. Later, that doctor called to apologize. Natalie's mother, a nurse who knew the system well enough to fight for a bed, said something I haven't stopped thinking about:

Natalie is an employment lawyer who's spent two decades inside healthcare systems, and she's found the same pattern everywhere she looks: the thing quietly costing our teams isn't workload or pay. It's exclusion — not the dramatic, reportable kind, but the slow, accumulated experience of not belonging in the room.

Most of us would swear we'd never leave anyone out. And I believe us. But Natalie's point is that intent is beside the point. We build in-groups without noticing — people who share our training, our background, our shorthand — and the people outside that circle quietly pay for it.

Her clearest example is informal mentoring. Picture the colleague who leans over and says, "Raise this at grand rounds tomorrow — that attending loves it." Now picture the person who never gets that whisper, left to figure it out alone. Same talent, very different careers. Add bullying that hides inside a curt email, the exhaustion of a "dual identity" you can't bring to work, the isolation of being the first and only — and you don't have a few unhappy people. You have a broken culture that reaches all the way to the patient.

So what does she tell leaders who want to change it? Start with your data, not your good intentions. Then turn the lens on yourself: How were you trained to lead? What's your own story with people unlike you? The work starts with self-awareness — the same first step we keep returning to in coaching. As Natalie put it, "Leaders who don't create new leaders haven't led."

Here's my question for you this week: who on your team is doing good work without ever getting the quiet, informal support that makes it easier — and what would it take to be the person who offers it?

Listen to Episode 116 with Natalie Holder, and find her resources at natalieholderspeaks.com.

🎧 Listen to the podcast sneak peek episode below and listen to the full episode on YouTube, Apple, Spotify, Podbean, or Amazon Music.

Stay mindful and keep leading,
Lillian
Founder & CEO

More upcoming events in medTHRIVE® Connect!

Ready for More? Join our FREE Community:

This is our free community where we host:

our quarterly Book Rounds book club,

monthly live streaming webinars,

and resources related to leadership and wellbeing.

If you're looking for like-minded support and real growth, this is your space.

Prefer personalized support?​
​Book a Call to explore how we can support your unique journey in healthcare.

To make sure you never miss an update, please:

1. Move this email to your Primary inbox (see steps above).
2. Add us to your contacts.
3. Click and reply to let your inbox know you want our emails. Plus we love to hear from you!

If you want to update your preferences or unsubscribe, just click the link below.

​​​​​​​