Hello Reader,
Klaus sat down with Coach Gillian Faith, a professional mediator, and honestly, I wish we'd had this conversation years ago.
We've all been there—that colleague who seems impossible to work with, the supervisor who never seems to get it, or that team dynamic that just feels broken. I used to think these situations were just part of the job, something to endure rather than address.
Turns out, I was wrong.
The Question That Changed Everything
Gillian shared something that stopped me in my tracks. When someone comes to her with a workplace conflict, her first question isn't "What did they do?" or "How can we fix this?"
It's simply: "Have you had a conversation about it?"
Embarrassingly often, the answer is no. We jump straight to wanting someone else to fix our problems without even attempting that first, crucial conversation ourselves.
When Conflict Is Actually Healthy
Here's what surprised me most: conflict isn't always the enemy. Gillian explained that disagreement can actually lead to better outcomes when handled well. It brings different perspectives to light and can strengthen teams rather than break them apart.
The key is learning how to navigate it constructively.
The 10% Rule That Works
From Gillian's Positive Intelligence training, she shared this game-changing concept: In any disagreement, the other side is always at least 10% correct.
Klaus started using this in his own difficult conversations, and it completely shifts how he approaches conflict. Instead of going in convinced I'm 100% right, he enters with curiosity about what that 10% might be.
What if you approached your next challenging conversation by asking: "What if I'm 90% right instead of 100%? What am I missing?"
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Before You Escalate: Try This Structure
If you're dealing with ongoing conflict, Gillian suggests this approach before seeking mediation:
- Have the conversation - Ask "Can you help me understand why you did what you did?" rather than making accusations
- Listen actively - Really try to understand their perspective
- Acknowledge what you hear - People need to feel heard, even in disagreement
- Look for solutions together - What options exist that you both haven't considered?
When to Get Help
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we need a neutral third party. Professional mediation becomes valuable when:
- You've tried direct conversation but keep hitting walls
- Emotions are running too high for productive dialogue
- The conflict involves sensitive or confidential matters
- Legal implications are at stake
The structured mediation process Gillian described—with clear time boundaries, neutral facilitation, and focus on solutions—often resolves in hours what might otherwise drag on for months.
Your Action Step This Week
Think about one relationship at work that feels strained. Instead of continuing to avoid it or hoping someone else will fix it, consider having that conversation.
Start with curiosity, not accusation. Ask questions, listen for that 10% where they might have a point, and see what shifts.
Sometimes the conversation we're most avoiding is exactly the one we most need to have.
P.S. If you found this helpful, you can connect with Gillian Faith on LinkedIn for mediation services. And if you try the 10% rule this week, I'd love to hear how it goes—just hit reply and let me know.
🎧 Listen to listen to the full episode on YouTube, Apple, Spotify, Podbean, or Amazon Music.
What's inspiring us this week:
Adding 2 new incredible coaches to the Transforming Healthcare Coaching® team!
Welcome Vicki Landers, DPT MHA ACC ELI-MP and Michelle Walter, DO CPC ELI-MP!
Grateful for their unique talents, perspectives, and passion to help healthcare professionals lead empowered, whole, and fulfilled lives.
The Practice: Celebrating Wins
We get more of what we focus on. The practice of gratitude and celebrating the goodness of life is the first step in changing our brains, mindsets, and circumstances for the better.
We had our first medTHRIVE Book Rounds book club on Sunday night and it was so much fun! We read The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins this time. Loved our conversation, thoughts, and inspirations on how we will Let Them AND Let ME moving forward.
Stay mindful and keep leading,
Lillian
Founder & CEO
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